Circus

I cant believe I didnt take my camera to the Britney Spears Circus concert last night. After all, I did wait TEN years to finally go to her concert. It sucks sometimes though when people wait SO long for something and then when it finally comes its not so great. Ive been sick since Wednesday, like seriously, sick. I had to take two days off work because my whole body was sore, I couldnt move, I couldnt for the life of me stay awake, and I kept getting headaches/migraines. So, when the Britney Spears concert day came I was still sick, not as bad but enough to have absolutely no energy to get pumped up. The beer didnt help much either. The good thing is that being sick was basically the only thing that sucks. The concert was awesome and it made me want to keep going to her shows from now on. When I wasnt enjoying her, I was enjoying the people around me. Almost all of the girls had heels on. I can wear heels, but to a concert?? I mean these bitches were wearing clothes that youd wear to a "high class" club. There are crowds and steps and beer spilling. The girl next to me kept dancing like a chicken so I was watching her at one point and I looked down and she was BARE FOOT! CAN WE SAW EW?! Talk about white trash. She wasnt the only one though..

If you cant sport the heels, then dont bring the heels. Bitches.

Ive been thinking a lot lately about how I need to change things in life. Im not exactly a really positive person and I get that from things that happened in the past and things that happen now. Working at a pharmacy is stressing as hell, especially now because winter season is starting. People think its all just counting pills and selling prescriptions but its so much more than that. EVERYONES problem is YOUR problem. For example, when someones insurance doesnt work its my fault, I get bitched at and I need to fix it asap. Its almost like all these adults have no sense of responsibility. Yesterday a patient called to see if her doctor had authorized refills for her medication. When I told her that her doctor hadnt, she got an attitude with me saying this was ridiculous and I wasnt doing my job and that she only had one more pill. UM hello? Since when was it my fault that someone decided to wait until the last minute to refill her prescriptions and why is it my fault that her doctor hasnt called to fill the prescription?? Every time I work there I have to bite my tongue. Hard.

So its really irritating that I have to deal with that shit all damn day, and I come home to two people who have been at my apartment all day (my apartment as in my name is the only one on the lease) laying around on the couch and talking about how theyre soooo tired and lazy from not doing shit all day. I mean seriously. And of all people they complain about this to is the person who BUSTS HER ASS AT WORK 7 DAYS A WEEK so that they can have a place to chill out and not do shit but watch TV. It just puts me in a much worse mood everytime I hear it (yes, its a repeating conversation every weekend) and again, I have to bite my tongue. Hard.

I need something positive. Now, please.

I have always told myself that I would never have a kid because besides the fact that I do not like kids in general, it connects you to someone else for life. I have never liked (or should I say loved) anyone enough to want to be connected to them for life. The thought of being connected to my most recent ex boyfriend makes me feel disgusted. I made the mistake of having a "kid" with him. Its not a human kid but rather an object. He is the only ex boyfriend I have ever not wanted to be friends with anymore. I dont care to know how hes doing or what hes up to. I dont even care to know if hes dead or alive. He has burnt that bridge. I dont intend to ever communicate with him again but for some reason he still keeps texting me. His last text was supposed to be offensive but I actually laughed at it. Its really hard for someone to truly offend me. It would probably be a bad idea to get into a verbal fighting match with me too because I can get straight up dirty.

I wonder how his wife likes her engagment ring because Im pretty sure it was the same ring bought for me. Can we say WHITE TRASH? Its amazing how long a relationship can last because of pure comfort. I remember the conversations I had with my sister during the final days of our relationship. It went as follows:

Ann: Why are you with him?
Sara: Because Ive invested too much time and money into this relationship.
Ann: Well there you go, your answer wasnt "Because I love him" so you need to leave.

I myself didnt even see it that way and thats pretty sad. As Im writing this Im also wondering why Im even taking the time to put my thoughts down about him since hes not worth any of it, but Ive came to the conclusion that Im only writing this because of boredom and the fact that I havent posted in a good while. One of the best things I ever did in life was move the fuck out of Rockwall, away from him.