A new goal

"You always said that I was always right. That I made the right choices & had the right reasons for them & you confided in me for the right answers. But when it came to our friendship I was the one that was wrong & you were the one that was right. I failed you & you fought; I was sorry & you forgave. But I realize now that there is a part of me that isnt sorry because it only brought us closer. We didnt need to see each other all the time & hang out to be close. I learned to confide in you as you much as you did me. I needed you then as I need you now, & even though I cant have that anymore I will always appreciate that second chance you gave me."

I wrote that on Laura's Facebook wall the other day. When someone walks out of your life there is always some sort of regret. When my dad passed, the guilt I still carry with me is that I was so mean to him when he was sick. I was only 14 years old at the time and didnt know any better because he didnt tell me or my sisters the condition of his health, but that doesnt seem to change the way I feel now. With my friend Laura recently passing, all I can think about is how I shouldve made time for her. She understood that I work 7 days a week and she never begged for my time, but I should have taken the initiative and made time for her anyway because I knew thats what she wanted. With that said, I will try and set a new goal. Regardless of the amount that I have to work or the money I have or dont have, I will try to hang out with each of my friends at least once a month. I dont have very many since having two jobs for 5 years has made me fall off the face of the earth, but I still have a few and I will do my best. It doesnt change anything between Laura and I, but at least I wont have the same regrets if and when another friend leaves.